The size of things

by Jennifer on January 23, 2008

A couple of years ago, at the movies with my kids, I took my daughter (who was 4) into the bathroom with me. We went into one of the large stalls, in the days before she wanted one of her own. A couple of movies had just finished, so the bathroom was pretty full, which turned out great for the Girl, since it’s important to have an audience for moments like this. She took her turn first, then I went. As I stood and started to reassemble myself, the Girl said in a cheerful and loud voice, “Mommy, your butt is soooo BIG!”

Now, there was no judgment in her voice, and like I said, her voice was cheerful. Even congratulatory. It wasn’t an indictment of any sort. She had stated a fact, one that I could not dispute. Of course, I’m laughing to the point of tears, and I hear a wave of suppressed laughter move down the row of stalls. And you know how things echo in those long bathrooms, anyway. Yep, everyone heard. When she realized the effect she had, which became clear to her when we got to the sinks, that was the proud moment for her. If she ever wins an acting award, I’m fairly certain this moment will make it into her acceptance speech as the seed of her love to perform. (Note: I won’t be in the crowd unless, at that time, my butt is not sooo big. Instead, I will send flowers and wish her well.)

Now, all this time later, the size of my backside (and this beast of a tummy on the frontside) are on my mind a lot. You’d think a moment like that would have put me off french fries forever. Alas, my mind doesn’t work so efficiently. But I really really really want this to be the year that I get back to my fighting weight, to which I have to count backward by tens. Quite a few of them. My 40th birthday is coming up in November. I know, it’s just a year. But I just have this feeling that if I haven’t done anything toward the goal of reaching a healthy weight by then, then I won’t enjoy that birthday so much. (Though for most other reasons, 40 seems like a relief to me, to have the 30s behind me. And, apparently, they’re actually attached to my behind.)

So I’m just putting it out there that this is the year. I’ve declared my intention to a couple of close friends, and I expect them to hound me. I even cleaned off the treadmill and made a rule that nothing goes on it, no clothes, etc. Just me.

The ideal piece of exercise equipment would be one that generates energy to power a computer. I could be online at the same time as I’m exercising, but only if I keep a certain level of activity going. Someone, please work on that.

On a sad note: I have to say, I am unreasonably sad about Heath Ledger’s death. Which feels strange and out of place, since if you’d asked me two days ago who my favorite actors were, I wouldn’t have thought to name him. Still, I’m sad. Maybe it’s because he was the one, in Brokeback Mountain, to speak these words, “If you can’t fix it, you gotta stand it.” I could not have been the only one to hear that sentence and feel it fall down through me like a stone.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Kellan January 23, 2008 at 9:52 am

I’m with you girl! I have started changing my diet over the past couple of days – really trying to get going – I am not all that interested in excercising (HA) – but, I would like to lose about 10 lbs. by summer – maybe 15, if I really get on the ball. Good luck to you getting motivated – I’ll be here to support you. Nice to see you this morning – thanks for coming by. See you soon. Kellan

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Emily January 23, 2008 at 10:11 am

Stating it like that is the first step. Keep us updated, please!

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Jodi January 23, 2008 at 12:09 pm

I had so much to say until I read the Heath Ledger quote. Actually it was your “feel it fall down through me like a stone” that got me…

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Angela January 23, 2008 at 4:59 pm

I haven’t seen the movie yet…but it made me sad to hear this as well. Because he was young and pretty and a daddy to boot. And mostly because he didn’t seem like an attention-hungry slime-dog like so many of them do.

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HRH January 23, 2008 at 6:03 pm

I think that the exercise machine is genius and would be a huge hit, so huge that you would be so rich and famous that it wouldn’t matter how big your butt is!

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Jennifer January 23, 2008 at 8:09 pm

Excellent point, HRH.

I know what you mean, Angela. He was really an actor, not just a celebrity.

Jodi–*sniff* thank you.

Emily, I will.

Kellan, how many calories does typing burn? Isn’t that exercise? Good luck to you, too.

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Tootsie Farklepants January 24, 2008 at 8:15 pm

I’m feeling the same way about Heath Ledger. And if I try to talk about it out loud, my voice catches in my throat. I didn’t even know him but his death has had an unnerving impact on me.

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