A couple of years ago, at the movies with my kids, I took my daughter (who was 4) into the bathroom with me. We went into one of the large stalls, in the days before she wanted one of her own. A couple of movies had just finished, so the bathroom was pretty full, which turned out great for the Girl, since it’s important to have an audience for moments like this. She took her turn first, then I went. As I stood and started to reassemble myself, the Girl said in a cheerful and loud voice, “Mommy, your butt is soooo BIG!”
Now, there was no judgment in her voice, and like I said, her voice was cheerful. Even congratulatory. It wasn’t an indictment of any sort. She had stated a fact, one that I could not dispute. Of course, I’m laughing to the point of tears, and I hear a wave of suppressed laughter move down the row of stalls. And you know how things echo in those long bathrooms, anyway. Yep, everyone heard. When she realized the effect she had, which became clear to her when we got to the sinks, that was the proud moment for her. If she ever wins an acting award, I’m fairly certain this moment will make it into her acceptance speech as the seed of her love to perform. (Note: I won’t be in the crowd unless, at that time, my butt is not sooo big. Instead, I will send flowers and wish her well.)
Now, all this time later, the size of my backside (and this beast of a tummy on the frontside) are on my mind a lot. You’d think a moment like that would have put me off french fries forever. Alas, my mind doesn’t work so efficiently. But I really really really want this to be the year that I get back to my fighting weight, to which I have to count backward by tens. Quite a few of them. My 40th birthday is coming up in November. I know, it’s just a year. But I just have this feeling that if I haven’t done anything toward the goal of reaching a healthy weight by then, then I won’t enjoy that birthday so much. (Though for most other reasons, 40 seems like a relief to me, to have the 30s behind me. And, apparently, they’re actually attached to my behind.)
So I’m just putting it out there that this is the year. I’ve declared my intention to a couple of close friends, and I expect them to hound me. I even cleaned off the treadmill and made a rule that nothing goes on it, no clothes, etc. Just me.
The ideal piece of exercise equipment would be one that generates energy to power a computer. I could be online at the same time as I’m exercising, but only if I keep a certain level of activity going. Someone, please work on that.
On a sad note: I have to say, I am unreasonably sad about Heath Ledger’s death. Which feels strange and out of place, since if you’d asked me two days ago who my favorite actors were, I wouldn’t have thought to name him. Still, I’m sad. Maybe it’s because he was the one, in Brokeback Mountain, to speak these words, “If you can’t fix it, you gotta stand it.” I could not have been the only one to hear that sentence and feel it fall down through me like a stone.