$41 worth of wrongity wrongness

by Jennifer on February 24, 2008

Saturday afternoon, our dog went crazy, barking at something dangerous or threatening outside the front window. Like the turtledoves that nest in front of our house. Or a bunny. In his excitement, he got his head stuck in the mini-blinds. And what do dogs do when they get their heads stuck? They thrash back and forth, until they’re able to loose themselves of the surly bonds of whatever the hell’s got ’em stuck.

In this case, the dog tore the blinds half out of the window, bending and breaking them.

When he settled down, he (the dog) said rather sheepishly, “Uh, you might wanna go to H*me Depot and get some new mini-blinds.”

I won’t repeat what I said. It’s already cost me a couple of quarters.

So we went to H*me Depot today. I gave the nice man the measurement for the window width. He quizzed me several times, to be sure that I was giving him the correct measurement before he cut the blind. I was getting annoyed, but I remained cheerful and gave him the measurement once again. (I was already a bit peeved that Mr. H was out of town, leaving me to deal with insane dogs and broken blinds.)

Of course, I did measure accurately. Which I proved when I installed the new hardware and snapped the new blind in place. I was quite proud. Overall, I do pretty well at handling things when Mr. H is out of town. I might not always like it, but in the end I get things done.

Wanna see? I know you do.


Okay, so it’s possible that even though I was right about the width, I definitely maybe just guessed at the height of the window.

And even though I told Mr. H on the phone that husbands who are out of town don’t get to laugh at the Mrs. Fix-it mistakes of their wives, he roared long and loud at this one. (“You guessed? You guessed at the height? And you were 18 inches off? Bwah hah hah hah!”) ‘Cause you know men are so damn good at judging the size of things. (Okay, so I was more than just a little bit off…)

So it’s back to H*me Depot for another set of mini-blinds (please, please, let there be a different blind-cutting guy on duty).

You know, I’ll just bet they sell lock-changing kits, too.

{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

Ducky February 25, 2008 at 4:03 am

Heh heh…you guessed? Funny you didn’t mention it on the phone.


slouching mom February 25, 2008 at 4:42 am

LOL! That’s so funny. And…something I would do.

My husband would never EVER let me forget it. He’s not charitable that way.


Brenda February 25, 2008 at 6:01 am

You live in a big city. Go to a DIFFERENT Home Depot! There is no way you can risk running into the same person! Just not an option. And make it one across town because what if the guy works at TWO of them?


Slow Panic February 25, 2008 at 6:16 am

it is not possible to do any home project that requires only one trip to the box store. two is the absolute minimum.


Meg February 25, 2008 at 7:20 am

I have to agree with Slow Panic…if I am doing it…it requires more than one trip every single time! El Jefe was a custom home builder for 20 years, you would think I learned something along the way…

Tell the guy at Home Depot you have decided to do ANOTHER window!


Julie Pippert February 25, 2008 at 8:05 am

OMG measuring for blinds gets me EVERY TIME. And my husband isn’t any better—although he should be since he’s PROFESSIONALLY EMPLOYED in this capacity. He just never thinks about it for *our house.* Doctor, heal thyself, eh. LOL

So upstairs I have a set of minibinds for my daughters room that are about an inch too narrow. UGH

Don’t feel bad. I didn’t even notice the shortness…thought you had raise it to protect the dog, LOL.

All our binds are permanently raised and cords anchored up high due to pets and kids who do not learn from natural consequences, LOL.


Kellan February 25, 2008 at 9:30 am

Oh, you are so funny! That is hysterical and just the greatest story! I think you should just leave it like that, frame this story and put it on the wall right next to the window for all to enjoy for months and months to come. Maybe not!

Have a good day Jennifer – see you later. Kellan


ByJane February 25, 2008 at 11:56 am

Can’t you just sew a ruffle on? And say you meant to. That’s what I’d do. Then maybe take a photo and sell ’em on Etsy.


cce February 25, 2008 at 12:15 pm

Doesn’t it always have to be on our watch? I’m sure those peeping toms prefer to stand rather than lay down in the flower bed while stalking. I say leave it as is and enjoy a little natural light.


Tootsie Farklepants February 25, 2008 at 3:12 pm

Oh lord. Don’t you just HATE it when you give them a reason to laugh?


marlee February 25, 2008 at 6:48 pm

OMG, I TOTALLY *heart* you!! I would have done the EXACT same thing!!!!! 🙂


AMomTwoBoys February 25, 2008 at 8:04 pm

Ha! GREAT job on the width. Really! If only the height weren’t important.

And Landon’s comment is AWESOME.


we_be_toys February 25, 2008 at 8:16 pm

Damn girl – you got a dog that can talk, AND you’re a DIYer…I am in awe!

I promise not to let the hubby in on your secret proficiency – might complicate getting the yard mowed or something else crucial!

Tell the dog I said Hi!


HRH February 25, 2008 at 10:14 pm

Way too funny. I hope the same blind guy is there so we have a part two.


JCK February 26, 2008 at 12:53 am

You know, believe it or not, I had never made that correlaton between men being good at judging the size of things and now I …understand.

If it had been me, I would have gotten the width and length wrong. I am just SO wrong when it comes to any spatial design.


HappyCampers February 26, 2008 at 12:46 pm

What is it with dogs & heads? Our *not so smart* dog got her head stuck in our built-in wooden wine rack. Inside one of the diamond shaped holes. By the time I found her (thank goodness we were HOME) she had crapped all over the floor in sheer terror, was foaming at the mouth in panic & I had to get Hubby to help cut the wine rack apart to get her head out while I immobilized her. What would I have done if he were GONE???

And the blinds? Home Depot thinks we’re nuts too!!!! I returned custom blinds THREE times because they just would NOT fit and my husband measured and it HAD to be the right measurements.

On the 4th set, I actually thought the re-measure the windows & sure enough, he had not measured at all…just assumed it was the same as the other windows, when in fact it was about 1/4 inch smaller, making the blinds just a tad too big.

I was too embarrassed to take them back to be cut, so I found some guy who cut blinds out of his house (WTF?) and took it to him.

It all got solved, but I detest dealing with window fixins’.

And I lauged out loud at your too-short blinds. That was too cute 🙂


the mama bird diaries February 26, 2008 at 9:06 pm

Damn. Our blinds are always breaking! And it is such a biatch to get them fixed.

Perfect blinds are so over-rated. I mean, yours are cute and fun… like a mini skirt.

Very funny post.


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