Glitter, glitter everywhere, and I could use a drink

by Jennifer on March 10, 2008

glitter.jpgOr a shrink. Either way. Both?

The other night, as I walked through the living room toward the kitchen, the glow of lamplight picked up little bits of sparkle that weren’t there the night before. Is the Tooth Fairy real? I marveled. It looked like fairy dust, right in my living room. My investigation discovered a clear trail of it leading from the kitchen table into the other room, ending at the Girl’s desk. The usual suspect. I might have guessed. Though I share in the culpability on this one.

No, no Tooth Fairy, just another school project come back to bite me in the ass, that’s what it was. (Try to vacuum up glitter. Let me know when you finish. We’ll wait. Still waiting…)

Last week, the Girl’s class was given an optional assignment of making a diorama of a penguin habitat. Did you get that word? Optional. The Girl begged to do the project and gave me specific instructions about what to buy which I totally ignored. So after Michael’s collected my 30 optional dollars, I walked out of the store with the following: five plastic penguins (Rockhopper and Emperor Penguins who, I decided, could live side by side in harmony…we are the world, make a better day, lalalalala), some Styrofoam, hot glue sticks, craft glue, and (yep) a gigantic modest shaker of white glitter.

Yes, glitter was one of the things on the Girl’s list. And I’m a big stupidhead sucker. She had convinced me of its reflective, ice-mimicking properties, and I caved. We used about 1/1,000,000th of it on her project, which leaves us with approximately an assload of it left over.

By the way, parents, if you’re helping your child with a school project and he/she asks, “When are you going to let me do something?” it probably means you’re doing it for them. The Girl let me know pretty fast that it was her project and not mine, and demoted me to hot glue gun duty. Which, don’t tell her, is really the magic wand of a project. So there, my sweet girl. Gotcha.

I will say she’s been pretty darn creative with the glitter. Making snowmen and snow-scapes. Drawing hair on the people in her drawings with glue, then shaking glitter over it. Glitter in a shaker is genius, except for the copious amounts of over-shake that left a snowdrift around the kitchen table.

We went sledding in it today, yes we did.

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Carrier pigeonToday’s post came perilously close to being written in longhand and delivered to you by carrier pigeons. For most all of yesterday, I couldn’t access this site, though I could see that it was up and running for everyone else. For almost 12 hours (twelve!), I couldn’t see a thing, just a taunting message saying the site was unavailable. The support people were stumped and requested all sorts of voodoo codes and whatnot. After busying myself with other things for the day, like drinking whiskey and Googling pictures of George Clooney cleaning my neglected office and talking to my children, tonight I sat down to watch HGTV and promptly fell asleep. When I awoke an hour later, I looked down and saw–wait for it–fairy dust clinging to my clothes. Could it be? I ran to the computer, and yes, yes, yes, my site was working. I believe, Blog Fairy, I believe!

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I need to say thank you for two awards that I received recently. The first was from Meg at Lucchese to Louis Vuitton who gave me this first one, which makes me feel all awshucks. She deserved it, and is a sweetheart for passing it along to me. In turn, I give it next to Woman with a Hatchet, especially for this post which really made me laugh.

award_cleverness_42zyaw7gdw.jpg

And next, a huge, warm, grateful thank you to Tootsie Farklepants at Vintage Thirty for this award, which touched me more than I can say. It’s nearly impossible to choose whom to pass it to now, since you have all shown me such kindness. But since I have to choose: I first want to give it to my sister, because she was there, for all of it. And because she calls me almost every day, and calls her niece and nephew often, even just to hear a penguin song for the second time. Next, I pass it on to my best friend J, who has known my stories (and I, hers) for 20 years. She’s funny and kind and thoughtful and talented, and has a wide open soul. Also, to Emily at Wheels on the Bus who, with her own brave writing, gave me faith in my ability to write things that I wasn’t sure I could.

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One last thing…This morning when we were eating brunch, the Boy said, “Mom, do you know what morning is like? It’s like starting your life all over.”

{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

cce March 10, 2008 at 3:47 am

I’m with the boy…well said, well said. I’ve always preferred mornings, now I know why.

Glad the blog fairy visited you even if she did overdo the glitter. What would we have done without you today?

Can you send her over to work on my MP3 player that sits silent and unyielding here on my desk for no apparent reason? I keep asking it, “Did I say something to offend you?” But it’s so pissed off, it won’t even respond.

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Brenda March 10, 2008 at 6:28 am

Ahhhhh, but if you only lived closer. You only would have had to depart with optional dollars on penguins. This house has all the other optional ingredients, in a wide variety of colors and sizes, and it’s always covered in glitter, which we have decided is a necessary fashion accessory. For everything. For everywhere. Without fail it MUST be worn. (Because we don’t have any other choice.)

And it’s funny you mentioned the Tooth Fairy. I had decided that BECAUSE there was so much glitter in our house, that the Tooth Fairy would leave a trail. But alas, she came, and in the excitement of it being the first time, she TOTALLY FORGOT. What kind of parents are we?

Glad you’re back up. I’m sure the 12 hours were nothing but drudgery. (Did I spell that correctly? Too lazy to look it up.)

One last thing. Boy is quite insightful. Someday girls are going to clamor to be with him because he’ll be able to think past his, uh….. you know.

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Tootsie Farklepants March 10, 2008 at 6:59 am

Boy-Child#2 is all about the optional science fair this year. I spent a good portion of the afternoon yesterday finding a suitable project for us. I mean him.

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Ducky March 10, 2008 at 7:58 am

You’re welcome.

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Betsy Bird March 10, 2008 at 8:15 am

“Mom, when do I get to help?” — I love it! I also love “optional” projects, which generally comes to mean “If you want an A” projects, because all the super-motivated (i.e. female) kids do them.

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Hatchet March 10, 2008 at 8:46 am

Thank you for the award! Sweet!

I like glitter. I especially like it at other people’s houses. Your son (and daughter) sound very sweet and insightful.

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HRH March 10, 2008 at 9:02 am

I opened my window this morning just in case a carrier pigeon were to stop by.

Can I come over and sled in glitter…that sounds absolutely fabulous!

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Kellan March 10, 2008 at 9:18 am

That is what mornings are like – definitely has all the potential in the world of correcting things/ changing things – living differently!!

Congrats on the award – very well deserved.

I HATE GLITTER – Tooth Fairy or not!

Have a good day Jennifer – see you later. Kellan

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Melissa March 10, 2008 at 9:50 am

Thank God for little boys who don’t have much interest in glitter. That is one “accessory” I could well live without. Ditto sequins.
I love the quote about mornings. That’s so hopeful!

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Mrs. Chili March 10, 2008 at 11:38 am

Being the mother of two little girls with an unnatural fondness for glitter, I can tell you that the trick to picking the stuff up ISN’T the vacuum; rather, it’s packing tape. It takes a while to dab all that stuff up, but the packing tape really works.

I take the boy’s idea a step further and try to remind myself that EVERY BREATH is an opportunity to start over. I need reminding, though – I often forget.

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Mrs. Chili March 10, 2008 at 12:10 pm

Jennifer, I keep trying to respond to your comments, but the email address comes back with “permanent fatal errors” (sounds dire, doesn’t it?) Email me, please, at mrschili AT comcast DOT net so I can reply to your comments on my site…

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Meg March 10, 2008 at 12:39 pm

I too was down most of yesterday, and believe it or not, cleaned my office and my closet in my office! Congrats on the awards, you rock!

I LOVE glitter….but you knew that!

Have a wonderful day!
Meg

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Manic Mommy March 10, 2008 at 1:10 pm

The preschool/playgroup teachers all say, “it’s the process, not the product.” I have to repeat this like a mantra whenever I’m “helping.”

– Anal Retentive Mommy

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Sports Mama March 10, 2008 at 4:37 pm

Starting your life over with a never-ending supply of pixie dust…..

I want that.

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liv March 10, 2008 at 6:36 pm

your boy is a genius.

fairy dust.

need me some of that.

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Slow Panic March 10, 2008 at 6:44 pm

Thank you so very much for the award!! The Boy is right. i need to remember that every morning.

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marlee March 10, 2008 at 7:33 pm

Oooooh! I loooooooove glitter! I used to have a card business and used tons of it, which meant it was all over my house, by children, my dogs. I miss my glitter now… 🙁

congrats on the awards! 🙂

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Sandy (Momisodes) March 10, 2008 at 8:12 pm

Oh I love what he said 🙂 That is so clever and sweet! Glitter drives me nuts….it’s like confetti, you can ever fully clean it ALL up ….

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flutter March 10, 2008 at 10:02 pm

your boy is total genius

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Jenn @ Juggling Life March 11, 2008 at 7:49 am

Two words. Glitter. Outside.

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JCK March 12, 2008 at 10:55 am

Your boy definitely has the right perspective!

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