This is all so sad.

What I know is that you’ve grown beyond this, and you’ve probably given up expecting anything at all from her. I also know she is only coming around now because she is ashamed that you’ve “published” this.

She’s an accomplished geneologist. I find this so ironic. You, my friend, are a writer. She’s all about the past. And you…the present…the future. Keep moving right along. You’ve formed an important branch on that family tree.

It’s the one that’s blooming. Full. Bright. Green with possibility. Without you, that tree she likes to study so much? It would be withering. You know this.

You and I are of a similar age. After reading this, I can only say that such a vindictive and petty attitude is very unattractive on mature women. Everything I’ve read here is your expounding on what you want, what you need, what you feel, what you think. I’ve read no compassion for Jennifer’s situation, what she wants, what she needs, what she feels or what she thinks.

It’s all about you.

It’s not my place to judge you but I will say that your apparent selfishness not only causes suffering to those around you but to yourself as well.

You would be better served to think about the ways that you can begin to heal the wounds you helped to create. That takes the willingness to step outside your own wants and needs and consider Jennifer.

If you are not capable of doing that or if you are unwilling to do that, it would be better for you to go back to your cave and stay out of this space. It’s Jennifer’s space. It’s a place for her to share her perceptions and her experiences with a group of women and men who have come to value and respect her.

Coming by here to state your case and pull the scabs off of wounds that are still healing shows you to be either the maddest person I’ve ever encountered.. or even worse, a sociopath.

If you have issues with what I’ve said here, please do not lay them at Jennifer’s feet. Click the link above and lay them at mine.

~Chani

Chanis last blog post..My Last Sarah Post….

Ducky and Jennifer and I GO WAY BACK. I know I haven’t heard it all, but I’ve heard a lot. I’ve shed tears over stories I’ve heard. What the hell.

I have two little boys. I swear to you if anyone comes near them in any way they are going down. They come first in my life at all times. Don’t roll out the stories about your situation at the time, etc. etc. I don’t want to hear about it. If anyone tried to take my kids or keep me from seeing them it would become my one and only goal to make sure the kids and I were together. They come first. no questions asked.

isn’t it time you stopped acting like a child? If you can’t say anything nice to Jenn you really shouldn’t say anything at all.

Madges last blog post..Morning Forecast

If you really care about your daughter and love her at all, as a mother should, you will take this off-line and deal with your daughter mano a mano (or whatever the female version of that is). Posting your version of events on her blog will do nothing but cause more hurt and pain. Woman up; reach out to your daughter, apologize, do whatever it is you need to do to make a relationship with her. You’re a grown up and a parent, and carrying all this anger and hurt around with you isn’t worth it. It isn’t. If you can’t manage to be gracious, then you should just bow out all together. You also can’t have it both ways.

I hope you choose love, for your own sake as much as for Jen’s. It really is the better way to live.

I will only add that from Jennifer’s Mother’s personality, I’m sure she feels so slighted here, but SHE is the one who put this shit out. It’s her own damn fault what anyone here says to her. This isn’t her “place.”

And I will also say that I know Jennifer put out a regal effort to have a relationship with her. I know that from witnessing and just because I KNOW. I don’t know what it’s like to not have a decent mother growing up, but I know what it’s like to have a horrible grandmother, and I know that every chance I got, consciously or sub-consciously, I tried to fill that void with people who would treat me like a granddaughter. I know Jennifer had a big “mother void” in her heart. I know she was willing to let her “Jennifer’s Mother” fill it up. I know she tried, but again, what Flutter and Emily said. It wasn’t even her responsibility to make the relationship work, and she couldn’t on her own, but she sure as hell gave it more effort than was necessary or expected. And got slapped around for it.

GROW UP, JENNIFER’S MOTHER. The world doesn’t revolve around you. Nothing is owed you. You earn love. You didn’t even have to earn it all, but you do now, and if it were in my world, it would be WAY TOO LATE for that. Be graceful and exit quietly.

Louises last blog post..Late Summer Sky–SkyWatch

I also didn’t realize that it was possible for someone as well adjusted, as giving, as wonderful and as kind could come from such a self centered, egotistical, witch. Do not blame your child for mistakes that were and continue to be yours. Do not blame your relationship with your daughter on her. Cultivating that relationship, sustaining it, nurturing it was YOUR responsibility as a parent, not hers as a kid. Then you come here, her one place to reconcile her feelings and her experiences with you and sully it with your condescending, narcissistic bullshit?

Get over yourself, lady. Better yet, get a shrink. You owe Jenn an apology not an intrusion.

flutters last blog post..Therapy notes: Why are you concentrating on that?