To everyone on my email list, including Tom Perrotta

by Jennifer on April 6, 2008

sorry.jpg

Hell.

First, you should go read Flutter’s account of her experience with the “rat bastards” (her words, and I agree) at Reunion.com. I can’t possibly tell it like she did. (I’m sorry, Christine, and thanks for not ratting me out.) But, yes, it’s my fault. One indiscriminate click.

You might see something like this in your email. Please, delete it. Now.

Hi,

I looked for you on Reunion.com, the largest people search service — but you weren’t there.
See who else has been searching for you! Click here.

Jennifer

Don’t click. If you do, they will send an email to everyone on your email list, telling them that you’re looking for them. So save yourself. Save yourself the immeasurable embarrassment of reviewing your email list (228 addresses in mine. 228!), trying to think (think, Jennifer, think) of who will see that message and block your emails. Forever.

Here’s a window into my list of shame:

  • Mr H, who will wonder what kind of shenanigans I’m up to (not a one, dear)
  • All the subscribers to my blog who are now canceling their subscriptions (Stay, you just got here…there’s bean dip)
  • Realtors from whom we never bought a house (We’re the rat bastards in that scenario…)
  • Every parent in my children’s 1st and 3rd grade classes (Sorry, but I’ll still send paper plates for the party! Yes, Madison did have the best diorama. Hiring that designer was totally worth it for you.)
  • My mother (crap, to the nth power)
  • At least two babysitters who’ve been suspiciously busy lately (How’s Saturday night? Please call.)
  • A jewelry designer, from whom I never ordered (Love your work, still!)
  • Women on a diet forum to which I haven’t subscribed in a year (Think they realized I quit?)
  • My neighbor across the street who wishes I would finish pulling a few weeds (Tomorrow, I’m on it.)
  • Oh, and yeah, Tom Perrotta (Love your books, can’t wait for the next movie) Hell.

And those are just the ones I can identify.

So, everyone, I’m sorry. Please feel assured that you will not end up on the news, and that you won’t have to call the non-emergency police number to get me off your front lawn. If you care for me at all, just hit delete.

I can think of at least one person who wishes she had.

{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }

flutter April 6, 2008 at 9:40 pm

On the plus side, you have blog fodder, and you can now use ‘rat bastards’ with abandon.

crap.

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Tootsie Farklepants April 6, 2008 at 11:21 pm

So you’re saying the reunion is off? Whatever.

LOL!! I didn’t click the link either because I assumed that spam had figured out how to create an email from someone I know, in hopes that I’d click. I guess I was right, sorta.

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Carolyn April 6, 2008 at 11:39 pm

Hilarious. I totally got that email, but luckily I read this post first. Phew. I guess it pays to read your blog regularly. Thanks.

I’m still a little bit upset though. You never told me about the bean dip. I love bean dip. Have you been hiding the bean dip from me?

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Carolyn April 7, 2008 at 12:02 am

ps – don’t you just love someecards? That site makes me pee myself. (Not literally. Well, not that I’ll admit to anyway).

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Ducky April 7, 2008 at 3:22 am

It is totally your fault that I just made an ass of myself.

(I don’t often get to say that.)

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cce April 7, 2008 at 4:12 am

Wow am I glad I read blogs before e-mail. It must be Monday, right? As I said to Christine, really, I’m not laughing at you guys, I’m laughing with you.

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Franki April 7, 2008 at 5:03 am

bwahHAHAHAHA! the good news for me is that i never wanna see anyone i went to school with again, so i deleted immediately!

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Autumn April 7, 2008 at 5:31 am

I am so glad I read this first! My husband’s ex is still in my address book (don’t ask, it wasn’t for good reasons) and THAT would be something I’d want to avoid!

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suburbancorrespondent April 7, 2008 at 6:42 am

Luckily, I didn’t click. But I’m still confused as to what awful thing would have happened if I had – it would have sent out a similar e-mail to my list? Is that all?

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Nap Warden April 7, 2008 at 7:14 am

You forgot your lovely blog designer…who just looked at it like “???? what is this girl up to?”;)

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leendaluu April 7, 2008 at 7:20 am

heeee…luckily I’m not a ‘clicker’ so I just filed it away with all the other Reunion.crap stuff I get everyday.

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andi April 7, 2008 at 7:57 am

Wait! Did it happen as soon as you clicked the link? Because I’m a dork and totally clicked the link. Looks like I may have to post this myself – rat bastards, indeed!

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Jenn @ Juggling Life April 7, 2008 at 8:28 am

I knew something was up–I was like “why would she . . .?” So I just clicked delete. Yay, me!

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liv April 7, 2008 at 8:46 am

this makes the loss of the subscription sweepstakes sting even more. but, i have to keep reading you if only to torture you.

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we_be_toys April 7, 2008 at 9:14 am

I DID wonder why you were looking for me in Reunion.com
I think i might have clicked on it too – does this mean I’m in trouble too?
Ah, whats a Monday without a mini-drama?

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Brenda April 7, 2008 at 9:37 am

What kind of joy do the rat bastards get from this kind of thing?

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Melissa April 7, 2008 at 9:43 am

I wonder, too, why the evil spam attacks and what value these “invitations” have to anyone. Rat bastards indeed.

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Akelamalu April 7, 2008 at 10:14 am

Ah that explains the email, thankfully I did delete it.

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Lisa April 7, 2008 at 10:46 am

Mmmmmm….bean dip.
I hate spam emails almost as much as the threatening chain ones–if you don’t send this to 50 people in ten minutes, you and your loved ones will die a painful gruesome death but if you send it out to 100 people in the next five minutes, you will marry Brad Pitt, win the lotto and have a clean house 😉

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Minnesota Matron April 7, 2008 at 11:19 am

Ouch. This happened to one of my poor students, who accidentally invited all of her professors to her Facebook page. She was mortified! I am an email weanie and routinely just ignore anything that looks the least bit suspicious. Considering my luck on various levels, that’s probably the one good idea I’ve had in a long time!

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Hatchet April 7, 2008 at 12:00 pm

I’m an idiot and clicked it, didn’t see this post until now. I admit to being very confused and unfortunately, curious. However, I’m on a Linux box (geek husband, dontcha know), so I don’t THINK I sent emails out to the world.

I think.

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Madge April 7, 2008 at 12:22 pm

those sites confuse the hell out of me. and they don’t even have bean dip.

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Daryl E April 7, 2008 at 12:46 pm

Aha .. well that explains it .. I got one but decided I already got sucked into joining Facebook because
‘we’ were developing a similar site .. may it rest in peace .. then a friend thinking of relocating to NYC asked NO begged me to please join LinkedIn or whatever its called and I did .. now people from my last life are literally bombarding me with emails and begging me to be their whatever .. I am sorry you got sucked in .. but my SPAM filter knew it was bad ..

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Jen M April 7, 2008 at 12:51 pm

I read that post at Flutter’s. Oh, the shame.

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HRH April 7, 2008 at 1:17 pm

Holy crap…

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molly April 7, 2008 at 1:51 pm

Crap, crapitty, crap. I got on of those today and I clicked on it! I am an idiot.

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ByJane April 7, 2008 at 2:01 pm

did I click on it…oh I hope not…I’ve been thinking of how to tell you ‘thanks, but no thanks, etc.etc.etc.’

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Marlee April 7, 2008 at 2:52 pm

Oh, that was YOU? Damn. I thought maybe an ex-boyfriend was trying to look me up. 😉 Glad I trusted my instincts and deleted it without opening it! 🙂

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Sandy (Momisodes) April 7, 2008 at 3:31 pm

LOL! Okay, I saw this in my inbox earlier, and I ALMOST clicked on it because I saw your name, but chose not to 🙂 Thanks so much for posting this. So sorry about your list. BTW, my mom found my blog…. think there’s a nice big fat hole I’m going to dig up…wanna join me?

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Kellan April 7, 2008 at 4:03 pm

I saw this e-mail and I did delete it.

Hope you had a good weekend Jennifer – see ya – Kellan

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Manic Mommy April 7, 2008 at 4:16 pm

Whew! Got it, raised an eyebrow, and decided to delete it. A few scenarios did run through my brain (some not unlike the someecard above)

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Angela April 7, 2008 at 5:12 pm

Well, I wondered why the hell you were looking for me on Reunion.com. Incidentally, people are looking for my daughter too….only I opened that one. Nothing to do with you, love. No worries.

WTF is up with these people? How awful.

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Gwen April 7, 2008 at 7:13 pm

They are clever, those marketing folks. When I told my husband, who does some marketing work, about the scam (it happened to me with another site), he was frighteningly excited.

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Nicole P April 7, 2008 at 7:15 pm

Holy crap, I am so sorry!!! That is awful.
I got that email and I thought, “Okay what the hell? I am pretty sure Jennifer H is the pretty one who writes Thursday Drive but why is she looking for me?” I honestly thought that you might be an employee of Reunion.com. Sorry.

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the mama bird diaries April 7, 2008 at 9:03 pm

That is some clever spam!

I’m sorry that happened to you. And I’m glad i read Flutter b/c i knew not to open it.

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JCK April 7, 2008 at 10:46 pm

Oh…my…Oh…my.

Hang in there. You may have to join a 12 step program for this, but one must admit to a life out of control.

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Crazycath April 8, 2008 at 5:02 pm

I got one too but fortunately had already read this post (thank you Jennifer – I might have opened it otherwise) and also, it went straight to my junk mail to be checked by me, which is strange because you do not usually go there as you are marked as ‘safe’! So that made me think too.

So thanks for the heads up. And if you did email me using a different address… can you resend? (but not THAT one!) lol

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Suzanne April 8, 2008 at 8:44 pm

That would have been better than the “Someone has been looking for you” that they keep sending me.

Apparently, some 48 year old man in Palisades Park, NJ is looking for me. Well, not me, but someone with my name.

I unheart reunion.com. I suspect you do, too! 🙂

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chrystal April 8, 2008 at 10:21 pm

lol…too funny… i had no idea that when you clicked on the link it sent it out to all the people on your mailing list…only god knows how many times i have recieved and apparently sent that out myself…. 🙂

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Grandy April 9, 2008 at 10:52 am

Blech! I hate that stuff!! I am sorry that happened, but appreciate the humor in your apologies. 🙂

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AMomTwoBoys April 9, 2008 at 5:03 pm

That’s funny. But only because I’m NOT on your address list!

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Gert Hough June 25, 2008 at 2:53 pm

Now I know of another way to waste away subscribers…

I have to complain though – I did not get the email. Can you resend it?

🙂

Girl! can you write! I hopped over and I have just now finished reading part III (about your mother)…

Never give up hope.

Gert Houghs last blog post..Business email list for sale – 5000 email addresses cheap cheap

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