Comments on: Carousel

By: Weeds | Thursday Drive

Weeds | Thursday Drive — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 09:37:57 +0000

[...] is an anniversary that I marked last year with this post. This year, it’s 30 years since we went to court so that Sue could adopt my sister and me. [...]

By: Milena

Milena — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 00:39:49 +0000

I come late to this post and so I’m sure it must have stated the same thing if not perhaps in the same words. You white-out and re-write. Not erase and re-write mind you since that is too impossible to manage sometimes BUT, you can write OVER. With what? You ask. Anything really. Make it Rilke day and have the children recite a Rilke Poem on this day. Make it an I honor the jeep that I loved day. Or a family poker match day and you let the kids beat the socks off of you. Eventually, the new anniversary will take precedence over the other one, you must only give it time. One good memory replaces a bad one.

xoxo,

Miilena

Milenas last blog post..On becoming a citizen of the United States of America

By: tysdaddy

tysdaddy — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 12:25:54 +0000

Hey Jennifer,

Long time no chatty. Just playing catch up and wanted to say I agree with flutter on this one – find a way to make this a celebration of moving on. So much has changed and some of it must be worth celebrating. So buy a cake and dig in.

Hope things are well with you.

tysdaddys last blog post..Ritual de lo Habitual

By: Louise

Louise — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 22:51:40 +0000

The day has passed, and I”m sure you’re just fine now. For a year at least. BUT…

Tootsie Farklepants TOTALLY made me laugh, and what a great idea!

But the wise Mrs. Chili put so simply what so many others, including you said. Do something fun with YOUR kids that day. They will come to remember that day as “Fun with Mommy Day” or something like that. It will be your own special celebration. And what made that day memorable WILL become only a subtext.

You know that not by choice, my anniversary is on the anniversary of someone from that family with who I don’t wish to connect myself. And I think of it every year. But the date is MINE, not hers. Even though I can’t help but remember the other anniversary, it’s only a thought. And for all the hell and heartbreak that the anniversary I’m speaking of would bring into the world, had the union not happened, I would not be here. We would have never met. None of us would be the same people we are. Maybe we would still be the terrifc (You can giggle. I held back a grander word.), but probably not as deep and feeling and compassionate as we are.

Furthermore, Sue (and other members of her family) have always felt the need to force celebrations for themselves. All I can say is that some people don’t have to ask for recognition or celebration. When you have to ask (or demand), it’s a sorry state in which to be. She made a portion of your life beyond horrible, but you aren’t there anymore. You haven’t done anything to her, but I’m guessing her life will never hold the joy yours holds.

Louises last blog post..“I Like the Horse Part of the Parade”

By: Crazycath

Crazycath — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 22:20:22 +0000

Renewing vows sprung to mind but maybe that is too precious to put on this day.
How about, booking a holiday of a lifetime, to travel out or start on that day? Future memories would be “This time in 2009 we were on our way to…” or even “on our way back from…”

It doesn’t rub it out completely, but it gives an alternative.

You seem to be doing ok to me though, about that date. You have it all firmly in context and this is good.

By: Emily R

Emily R — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:59:58 +0000

I think perhaps the date needs to become a celebration for you. You will never forget it, but you have taken control. Own the date as a liberation -- she no longer can define you. Emily Rs last blog post..You know I’m gonna be like you

By: Autumn

Autumn — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 14:16:46 +0000

There are a lot of great ideas on here. I’d grab a handful and try them, see what makes you feel better. Just remember, it’s only a date- she never, ever truly “became” your mother. A piece of paper does not a parent make. Neither does DNA, but that’s for another post, yes?

Celebrate you- all you have become, all you have had the voice to speak up and say, and all you have done to be better. Because you are.

Autumns last blog post..Life is In the Making

By: Sandy (Momisodes)

Sandy (Momisodes) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 03:11:54 +0000

You are such an amazing woman and mother. Take this day back, give it a fresh coat of paint, and claim it for your own. *hugs* Sandy (Momisodes)s last blog post..Droppin’ Like Flies

By: melissa

melissa — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 02:51:33 +0000

Hugs to you. Just how you're raising your children now says so much about the person you are despite the example you saw. melissas last blog post..Mountain Mama

By: Meg

Meg — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 02:35:18 +0000

Jennifer, I am sending you hugs all the way from Texas sweetie. Of course this day stands out after so many years, but one day, soon, hopefully your heart and your soul and your mind will all finally get together and decide to leave her and all the ugliness that came with her in the past. I can relate to what you are feeling, my daughter went through a lot of ugliness with her stepmonster before I could stop it. She lost her relationship with her dad over it, but we have moved on and I can’t take what happened to her away, I pray every day that her heart will continue to heal. I will keep you in my prayers when I think about that now too. You have so much to be proud of! You turned out to be an incredible writer, a great mom and a fabulous women!

With total respect,
You always have a friend in Texas!

Megs last blog post..FABULOUS Shoes