I don’t have a true Before picture, but believe me when I tell you the room didn’t look so different from this, which is somewhere in the middle of the project (click to enlarge, if you don’t scare easily):
You’re looking at Girl’s room at the mercy of Mommy’s Massive Re-Organization (MMRO).
In the bottom of toy bins, I’m finding crap that Girl hasn’t seen for at least a year. Don’t tell her how much stuff I’m throwing out in the course of this MMRO phase. If it’s broken, it’s gone. If it came from McDonald’s, arrivederci. If I’m reasonably certain that we’ll never find the other half of a pair, buh bye (though, SCORE for finding both shoes of a pair of teensy tiny turquoise Barbie shoes).
Speaking of Barbies, once I round them all up, I think it’s time for a little talk with those crazy girls. All the evidence tells me that things are getting a little out of hand in Barbie World. (I will find you, Island Princess, you little tart. Yeah, don’t pretend you don’t know where you left your dress. And your knickers. In this house, we don’t lie around without our ball gowns, ya know.) And as for you, all you My Little Ponies? You know what you did. It’s all fun and games until someone gets knocked up. Yeah, I’m lookin’ at you, Bashful Bonnet. Bashful, my ass.
Girl comes in every now and then to try to help, but it’s better if she stays out of it, really. I’m trying to purge as much as I can from what’s there, so if Girl starts digging through the trash, it’s all over for me.
“Why are you throwing this away?!” she’d wail. “It’s my favorite toy!” This Burger King toy from 2004, baby? Your favorite? Really? I do try to be respectful of their things, and only throw out things I know they won’t miss. Honest. I swear.
Tomorrow, I’m clearing out the space under her bed, and I won’t be even a little bit surprised if I find Jimmy Hoffa buried under there.
So if you don’t hear from me for a few hours, send a rescue team in after me. Oh, and some really hot firemen. I’ll leave the front door unlocked.