Dust bunnies are the least of my worries

by Jennifer on August 12, 2008

I don’t have a true Before picture, but believe me when I tell you the room didn’t look so different from this, which is somewhere in the middle of the project (click to enlarge, if you don’t scare easily):

You’re looking at Girl’s room at the mercy of Mommy’s Massive Re-Organization (MMRO).

In the bottom of toy bins, I’m finding crap that Girl hasn’t seen for at least a year. Don’t tell her how much stuff I’m throwing out in the course of this MMRO phase. If it’s broken, it’s gone. If it came from McDonald’s, arrivederci. If I’m reasonably certain that we’ll never find the other half of a pair, buh bye (though, SCORE for finding both shoes of a pair of teensy tiny turquoise Barbie shoes).

Speaking of Barbies, once I round them all up, I think it’s time for a little talk with those crazy girls. All the evidence tells me that things are getting a little out of hand in Barbie World. (I will find you, Island Princess, you little tart. Yeah, don’t pretend you don’t know where you left your dress. And your knickers. In this house, we don’t lie around without our ball gowns, ya know.) And as for you, all you My Little Ponies? You know what you did. It’s all fun and games until someone gets knocked up. Yeah, I’m lookin’ at you, Bashful Bonnet. Bashful, my ass.

Girl comes in every now and then to try to help, but it’s better if she stays out of it, really. I’m trying to purge as much as I can from what’s there, so if Girl starts digging through the trash, it’s all over for me.

“Why are you throwing this away?!” she’d wail. “It’s my favorite toy!” This Burger King toy from 2004, baby? Your favorite? Really? I do try to be respectful of their things, and only throw out things I know they won’t miss. Honest. I swear.

Tomorrow, I’m clearing out the space under her bed, and I won’t be even a little bit surprised if I find Jimmy Hoffa buried under there.

So if you don’t hear from me for a few hours, send a rescue team in after me. Oh, and some really hot firemen. I’ll leave the front door unlocked.

{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }

Csquaredplus3 August 12, 2008 at 2:52 pm

What a project! I only have boys, but I’ve heard those tiny shoes that belong to the various trampy dolls are a nightmare to keep track of.

Like Dory says from “Finding Nemo” – just keep swimming, just keep swimming…

Csquaredplus3s last blog post..Joe Merlot’s Dandelion Wine

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RiverPoet August 12, 2008 at 5:15 pm

Ouch. Good luck with that! I remember having to do the same thing with my kids’ rooms. Every now and then (usually right after school started), I would tear it all down and start over. Drove them nuts. Ha!

Peace – D

RiverPoets last blog post..This Used to be My Beach (Part 2)

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Louise August 12, 2008 at 5:46 pm

Oh, I so hate that job. Hate it. Hate IT. HATE IT!!! Really, why are children not born with the ability to keep things straight and purge? WHY??? Because it is certainly a lot more trouble to teach them than to just go through this type of harrowing nightmare yourself.

Don’t envy you. Not even a little. And the worst part? It will be all organized and sparkling all day. Until she gets home from school.

HATE. IT.

Louises last blog post..Life and Awards

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Manic Mommy August 12, 2008 at 6:25 pm

I would love to dig into that project – because it’s not my stuff.

My boys’ rooms are actually relatively clean. All their shit ends up in my room. Really. I hardly ever use the Cat and Mouse boardgame or the Little Tykes vacuum.

Manic Mommys last blog post..Because I’m the Mommy (and the new classics)

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ByJane August 12, 2008 at 7:00 pm

Those McDonald’s thingies–they’re collectibles, for heaven’s sake. And you’re throwing them out? Bag ’em up and sell ’em on eBay. Or have Girl do it, because shouldn’t she start earning her keep?????

ByJanes last blog post..Movus Interruptus

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Jennifer Harvey August 12, 2008 at 7:08 pm

Jane, I’ve got her busy using the washboard and the butter churn. 🙂

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Jeanne August 12, 2008 at 7:27 pm

Oh wow. I remember the days when my daughter’s room looked like that and all those Barbie’s plus accessories!! It’s always best to do that job without the child anywhere nearby.

Jeannes last blog post..Oh Baby!

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Suzanne August 12, 2008 at 7:43 pm

I like By Jane’s capitalist take on things….sell ’em on ebay! lol!

Actually I applaud your efforts….here’s the good news, both you and Girl will feel infinitely better once the clutter is cleared out of the room…..so much more room for new acquisitions. Funding of which might come from those sales on ebay! hahahaha!!!!!!

Suzannes last blog post..Truth & Fiction: John Edwards, Rielle Hunter, and the author, Jay McInerney

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texasholly @ June Cleaver Nirvana August 12, 2008 at 7:49 pm

Oh I feel your pain. I was just not more than two hours ago yelling, “why are there 30 boxes of MISC. in the playroom?” at my clueless children. WHO DOESN’T LOVE CHAOS?

texasholly @ June Cleaver Nirvanas last blog post..Catalogs Save the Day

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Shania August 12, 2008 at 8:08 pm

I would be mortified to take a picture of Silas’ room. I’m in the midst on a MMRO myself. His birthday is in Sept and I try to clear some space for the loot. Then I do it again in December. Never ending cycle.

Shanias last blog post..Please Excuse Me While I Create

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Georgie August 12, 2008 at 8:09 pm

LOL Jennifer…I have spent the past 2 days doing exactly this to 3 beans bedrooms they hate me right now BUT they will see the light!

Georgies last blog post..OMGosh I learned something new…

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suburbancorrespondent August 12, 2008 at 8:40 pm

Keep your hands off those firemen – they’re mine! You’ve got your cowboys to keep you company.

suburbancorrespondents last blog post..Name That Post (‘Cause I Can’t)

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we_be_toys August 12, 2008 at 9:52 pm

Good luck on your mission to Deepest Darkest Under The Bed – I heard about a mom who went under her kids bed, never to return!
I especially like this line:
“I do try to be respectful of their things, and only throw out things I know they won’t miss.”
That has to be one of the great and universal Mother Truths – at least it is for me!

we_be_toyss last blog post..Summertime

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Rhea August 12, 2008 at 10:01 pm

You’ve got your work cut out for you!

Let me know when you find Island Princess, the little tart, she ran off with my man.

Rheas last blog post..Answered Mystery Photos

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San Diego Momma August 12, 2008 at 10:12 pm

That looks like my daughter’s room AFTER it was cleaned.

I applaud your intestinal fortitude and commitment to getting past the “organization” stage.

San Diego Mommas last blog post..PROMPTuesday #17: Get Specific

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Grandy August 12, 2008 at 10:12 pm

Oh I always have to do my purging exercises while he’s sleeping. That boy gets attached to EVERYTHING!! 🙂

Grandys last blog post..Kickin’ It Grandy Style

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flutter August 12, 2008 at 10:13 pm

um. My livingroom looks like that….

flutters last blog post..Therapy Notes: Worthless

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Jules~ August 12, 2008 at 11:21 pm

OH how I can relate. How many times over the years I did this very thing to the girls rooms. It is amazing the “special” things that pile up. Little corners of papers and broken toy bits…so many thing that they forget they carried in there and have breathed well enough for many months without touching it….but goodness if they would see it in the trash bag or goodwill bag heaven help us all. And I would sit there shaking my head and think good grief how did all this stuff get in here anyway? Didn’t I just over haul this room last year?
Thank goodness that at 14 and 17 their own mess gets on their nerves after a bit now and they do somethig about it.

Jules~s last blog post..A Shopping We Will Go….

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Kate August 13, 2008 at 5:24 am

I love how you made “Mommy’s Massive Re-Organization” into an acronym!

I’m with you.. what’s up with everyone getting a trophy.
My niece was taking dance at one studio where they did that. Now she’s at a different one where they do it the “right” way. LOL! And seriously, those kids know whether they truly earned that trophy or not.

Good luck with your cleaning.

Kates last blog post..Therapy

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Milena August 13, 2008 at 6:24 am

Need some help? I’m fabulous at this type of work. Strangely enough, it is just the sort of thing I relish. Emphasis on ‘relishing.’ Nothing grander than clearing out old stuff. Does wonders for the psyche.

You so make me laugh Jennifer.
xoxo to you too girl.

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melissa August 13, 2008 at 6:56 am

Still laughing (bashful!) and wondering what it is with nekkid barbies. Sheesh.

You make me feel better about doing this to my kids’ toys every couple months. The crappe they collect could stretch to china!

melissas last blog post..The Dog Days of Summer

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Treasia August 13, 2008 at 8:02 am

I kept humming a song in my head while reading this. “those were the days my friend, I thought they’d never end”. Ha.

Treasias last blog post..It’s Sexy Wednesday Hump Day Time

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Daryl August 13, 2008 at 8:20 am

Is there any chance at all that you could come to my place and do this MMRO to our closets? I promise you can even play poker on Thursday nite with the ‘boys’ (there isnt one of them under 50 … ).. and I would be your BFF forever …

Daryls last blog post..wordless wednesday

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Ann August 13, 2008 at 8:46 am

Hope you survived under there. Isn’t it GREAT purging *stuff* – I love it. Of course, you have to actually work-up to doing it; but once you do, FRESH AIR feelings all around.

Anns last blog post..Hit Me Baby One More Time

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Lisa August 13, 2008 at 12:47 pm

I think Island princess might be here–all her friends are–and all naked 😉

Once a year, I make the kids get 13 things out to give to charity–sometimes it works and sometimes they had me an old ripped barbie dress as one thing 0:

Good luck!

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Dharmamama August 13, 2008 at 1:18 pm

My oldest was deeply attached to his “stuff” – including McDonald’s toys from 2000, and I didn’t get rid of a thing if he didn’t OK it. It just felt too.. disrespectful to me! (And I’m not saying you’re disrespectful, or should do things differently! Just two different ways to handle it.) I mean – this child kept a Fritos bag from a camping trip he and his Dad took. Fritos. bag. But – it was his, and it meant something to him, so I didn’t toss it. We had to get creative with storage, that’s for sure.

I would be LIVID if someone went through my things and threw out what THEY thought wasn’t valuable. Yes, I do still have a stack of ticket stubs from various concerts I’ve been to, and no, I haven’t done anything crafty with them. But – they’re mine!

Around 13 or so, he started letting some things go, then earlier this year, when we moved (he’s 15 now), he got rid of almost EVERYthing. I found myself feeling sad about some of the things he was giving away! Including the aforementioned Fritos bag. LOL

Dharmamamas last blog post..I Miss Jerry

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Mrs. Chili August 13, 2008 at 2:54 pm

Seriously? There must be some kind of cosmic energy going around, because I and several of my friends are in MAJOR purge mode. Isn’t it wonderful and freeing (and not a little exhausting)?

Mrs. Chilis last blog post..Hunting

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Tina August 13, 2008 at 5:32 pm

Hey, it’s been 24 hours – are you okay or is it time to send in the rescue crew?

Tinas last blog post..Idiot Refilling Dogs’ Water Dispenser: A Study

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Heather August 13, 2008 at 6:28 pm

I swear that my kids can smell any attempt to get rid of anything they consider a toy…which includes toilet paper rolls, 458,396 stickers and random bits of paper.

Heathers last blog post..The Other Family Member

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Kimberly August 13, 2008 at 7:11 pm

I really need to take a harder line on broken toys. We have so many and I am constantly throwing them back into bins. Why? I guess because they still play with them, or at least take them out and check them out now and then. But really, they should go.

I snickered at your Barbie paragraph. I find Barbies in all sorts of compromising, naked positions around here and wonder WTF is going on.

Kimberlys last blog post..Lost in a storm

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Jenn @ Juggling Life August 13, 2008 at 11:00 pm

Is it weird that this makes me want to go clean a closet?

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JCK August 14, 2008 at 12:28 am

I’m doing the same thing. Except that I cleaned my house today. The shocks are felt everywhere. Now to the toys…

Very funny bit on the Barbies and the Ponies, Jennifer.

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Andi August 14, 2008 at 8:03 am

I totally know where you’re coming from here. I have got to do the same thing in my daughter’s room, but I’m waiting until she is back in school because I need five hours uninterrupted.

I have to tell you, up until about a year ago, this was an easy job for me. I convinced her that there was a little girl named Suzie who lived at the Goodwill drop-off, and she didn’t have any toys to play with *sob* My soft-hearted daughter was more than willing to “share” her toys with Suzie.

Yeah, she’s on to me now…

Andis last blog post..Phelps who?

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Denise @ EatPlayLove August 14, 2008 at 7:41 pm

The best thing about my daughter starting kindergarten this week is uninterrupted cleaning and purging time!

Denise @ EatPlayLoves last blog post..Can’t Escape a Rescue

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Hatchet August 16, 2008 at 12:31 pm

Been there. Done that. Lived to tell about it and feel your pain.

Solidarity, sister! *fist pumps wildly in the air*

Hatchets last blog post..The Singapore Scene

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ImBeingHeldHostage August 20, 2008 at 12:32 pm

Hilarious! I guess I should be grateful that we move every few years (wait, the kids’ rooms look far worse than that and we DO move– never mind).

ImBeingHeldHostages last blog post..Can We Talk?

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Crazycath August 21, 2008 at 5:25 pm

LOL. Have you finished clearing up yet?

Crazycaths last blog post..Sky Watch Friday & the last of the Holiday Snaps (part 6)

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