Madges last blog post..Seriously? Ten Things Tuesday

Rees last blog post..Mute Monday – Q

Look, here’s the thing; she HAS hurt your kids. Maybe not directly, but the way she chose to conduct her relationship with you and all the residual crap that came (or, rather, comes, because, let’s be honest, it’s an ongoing thing) with that has an enormous impact on YOU, and you can’t separate that from how you, in turn, parent.

Further, I think that she IS wrong. Your children don’t HAVE to know anything about her family. Honesty and full disclosure for their own sake aren’t always GOOD things. Do my children need to know about how my parents treated me? Do they need to know about generations of abuse and dysfunction in order for them to live full and productive lives? Absolutely not. In fact, I think that introducing those things would be detrimental to their well-being. The LAST thing I want them thinking is that they’re somehow genetically destined to be miserable.

I’ve managed to establish a warm, loving, supportive family specifically BECAUSE I’ve excluded my biologicals from our lives, and their inclusion would do more to UNDO the work that I’ve done than to bring any kind of benefit to my children – or to me.

Jettison the guilt. Blood does not equal love.

Mrs. Chilis last blog post..Monday Meme

the mama bird diariess last blog post..eco friendy holiday cards (and a discount too!)

And Happy Thanksgiving to you!!

Denises last blog post..Webster, I think I lurrrvee you!

Jenn @ Juggling Lifes last blog post..Into The Wild Blue Yonder

You HAVEN’T done anything about which to feel guilty, and I don’t believe guilt is healthy. A conscience is healthy, but guilt is not.

As one who has suffers my own similar guilt, I will say that my head keeps me in line most of the time. I remind you that it was my grandmother that taught me to feel the deepest guilt. Her legacy is carried on in her remaining children and even her grandchildren. You do not want your kids to get that. I never bought the biological ties bit. Those ties destroyed my mother, and they’re tried very hard to destroy other family members. Not that your mother is exactly the same, but I see so many similarities in her attitudes and behaviors as that of my grandmother.

When those feelings arise, call “L” instead. Call me.(Though hopefully I’m not the grandmotherly type yet.) Watch The Princess Bridge. Do what it takes to get past it.

For the record, I have a letter/card from Sue in the box where we keep our mail until we have time to go through it. It’s been there over a week. I haven’t opened it. I’m not sure if I will. I know I felt like I had accomplished something when I could put mail from Sue’s mother in the trash without opening it.

The thing is, your mother has made a couple of somewhat nice gestures, but I’m going to agree with Ducky on that. She’s pulling you in. Until I get full-blown apologies (without excuses) for specific things, I cannot believe people have changed. I do not believe I am negative or unforgiving here. Every time I give in to the guilt, someone gets hurt. Usually it’s me, but not always. And I don’t want that hurt transferred to my kids. There is nothing. NOTHING wrong with your protecting your kids. And there is nothing wrong with their never having any contact with your mother… EVER. I have blown every chance there will ever be of my children being in a 4-generation picture. Those generations are not important enough to preserve.

Go easy on yourself, and seriously, call someone else (put me on the list) when you are going through this. I have done the same to you when I was going through it. And FTLOGAATIH, PLEASE spend next Thanksgiving (or any other holiday) with us!!! We will melt those temptations away with a nice game of “Ticket to Ride.”

Louises last blog post..The Polar Express–My World

Correct me if I am wrong here, but that was never what this whole ‘Christmas’ thing was supposed to be about. It was time of celebration and joy and forgiveness. But alas, it seems that we American will screw up any Holiday if we throw enough money at it.

Bruces last blog post..Essential Cinema – 41