…send them back out for brandy and eggnog.
I used to like Christmas more.
There were years, even, when I made intricate, beribboned Christmas ornaments, and there was a year, maybe two, when I sent out handmade Christmas cards. Made by me.
Those were what we like to call the good years.
So if you’ve known me for, say, not that long, I know you just tilted your head to one side and looked at me funny since that’s not your experience of things here at Casa de H.
I get it.
Somewhere, some year, I decided I had no patience for high maintenance people or holidays. Yes, Christmas, I’m looking at you. I mean, I still decorate the tree eventually, put a wreath on the front door, and make a damn fine Christmas dinner. The stockings are hung on the buffet-since-we-don’t-have-a-mantle with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas really doesn’t give a damn.
And I will say this. The wrapping on the presents hasn’t suffered one bit. Wrapping the presents is the extravaganza part of the holiday. I spend more on wired ribbon for the bows than I do on presents. Seriously. Okay, that’s a lie, but people tell me they save the bows I make, which is exactly the response I go for.
But the rest of the falalalala? Is more like a FAIL-lalalala.
It’s hit or miss for outside lights, or for swags of greenery on tabletops inside. The Nutcracker won’t even come out of his box some years (let’s not talk about 2006), and I’m pretty sure he threw packing peanuts at me this year. Crazy bastard.
Who knows, maybe we’re doing it right. Or right for us.
I like to think my kids don’t really notice that we don’t go all out every year now that I jump in front of the TV when Hallmark commercials comes on so they don’t see the all that twinkly garland and the giant trees. But I might be kidding myself about that since last week they both asked me, with wide expectant eyes, long eyelashes and breath holding, “Are we going to put up the big tree this year*? Are we?”**
So I wanna know, who coached them? ‘Fess up, I’m coming after you.
*In my defense, we didn’t think we were going to be home on Christmas last year, so the little tabletop tree was pinch-hitting. And it was pretty. Tiny and pretty.
**And just so you’ll stop judging me…
Evidence that we put up the big tree this year: