You’re all asleep, I assume. Or hiding. The only person I follow on Twitter who’s still tweeting is Guy Kawasaki, but I’m pretty sure he never sleeps.
So, I’ve decided that since I can’t sleep, I should at least try to be helpful or informative. For once. To that end, I give you my list of…
Things to do at Some Ungodly Hour
- Look around at a cluttered office and decide right then and there to do something about it. Start with a stack of mail.
- Get distracted by catalogs full of stuff I can’t afford right now or ever – and, in some cases, wouldn’t buy even if I could. Like the beautiful leather sectionals in Restoration Hardware that go for $19,500 – on sale right now for $16,595. I mean, at that price, they’re practically giving them away. (Imagine the freaked out kids in the house where the people own that sofa – lots of crying over spilled milk, and that’s just the parents.)
- Recycle the catalogs. Immediately feel better.
- Get excited when I find a pretty folder labeled Blog Ideas. Hear angels singing. With the kind of anticipation that could just about kill a person or make Depends a really good idea, I open it. The folder is empty. (Bet you knew that was coming.)
- Page through New York magazine, to which I subscribe but mostly forget to read. That magazine should be like Netflix – you don’t get a new one until you’re finished with the last one. That’s just common sense, people. Or I could make better use of my time. Maybe that.
- Look at pictures of Rene Russo, who’s 55. Accept all over again that life isn’t fair. Except, you know, for her. (Who’s up for watching The Thomas Crown Affair this weekend?)
- Click the Everyone button in Twitter, which is the visual equivalent of Octomom opening her front door these days. Everyone means everyone. In the world. Who’s on Twitter. (Just not anyone I actually follow because – and I think we covered this – you’re all sleeping.) I click away, fast.
- Notice that Guy Kawasaki has stopped tweeting. Now the only person on is a travel writer from Austria whose life sounds so much cooler than mine that if I had any sense I would click Unfollow, without delay, just to save my sanity. (But won’t, for the same reason, and because his blog has gorgeous photos from his travels.)
- Search for a clock image on Photobucket, and laugh when this shows up among the results. Their search function has a sense of humor – and, honestly, it could have been worse. (Better?)
- Find the March copy of Outside Magazine that I still haven’t read. On the cover: “50 Ways To Live Large.” Realize I’ve got that covered.
- Make plans to use the treadmill tomorrow.
The thought of that makes me tired – finally – so I decide to try to sleep. Because I’m no Guy Kawasaki.
P.S. My office doesn’t really look much different than when I started. Please, act surprised.