Comments on: Fears and Events and Prayers, Part IV

By: Lennie

Lennie — Mon, 04 May 2009 22:48:34 +0000

I am so behind in my blog reading and for that I apologize …. the best intentions don’t make up for inaction. But then I come and I read and I am moved all over again and I wonder why I am not here every day. I’m sorry I’m not. Beautiful post. As I’ve mentioned before, I am one of those who share this “sisterhood”, the legion of little girls who had their choices made for them and learned the survival game of get-along. You learned how to win that game and by sharing, help us all win too.

By: Hatchet

Hatchet — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 20:51:14 +0000

Oh Jennifer, my heart aches for you and what you’ve been through. Standing up to Sue must have been incredibly hard, but you did it. It’s amazing how you can break my heart and warm it up again all in the same post. I then re-read all of the other parts of this series and then the other entries connected to it.

Also, your entry about the little girl in your dream and the “lost” one in your neighborhood made me cry.

You have my greatest admiration for how far you’ve come and how far you’re going to go. Take care.

By: Louise

Louise — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 20:31:41 +0000

I don’t think I ever thought of this story since I heard it–which must have been a LONG time ago. I’ve forgotten parts of it, and now more of the general course of things makes sense.

First, she did not fight when confronted. She did passive-aggressive things, but very few can really handle confrontation. People are menacing because they can be and are allowed to be a lot of the. Imagine how different life might have been had someone confronted her (or her mother) much sooner in life.

Second, adding to this is the fact that this incident is in part what led to the demise of the marriage. Once her cowardly bluff was called, her party was over; she lost the game. Time to move on to new venues.

What you did was no less brave than anyone else who stands up to a bully. You had no idea of the results. You probably thought it would have been much worse.

To those who have hoped she has changed, I wonder if they have known people who REALLY change. It’s a nice thought, but honestly, how often does it happen? If she had changed, she would have asking, no BEGGING for forgiveness. She would have apologized for her horrible behavior in specific examples. To all who wonder that or hope that, I say that I’ve seen her someone recently, and she hasn’t changed. She’s more set than ever. Bruce, above me, knows how it is. People never get it. They can’t get past themselves. It takes a conscious decision to do so, and people like Sue (and Sue’s family, and your mother and other such bullies in the world) have no interest in thinking past themselves.

I know she’ll never send you a friend request, but I hope she finds your blog. (And is obsessive about it as others from your life who have found it.)

She is indicted.

By: Bruce

Bruce — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 22:14:34 +0000

Interesting story. I would be curious to know if Sue ever reads it and if it gives her pause to consider how her actions (or inactions) have affected others in her lifetime. I doubt she will understand how her behavior has shaped the opinions of others or how it has affected how they feel and act, which is the problem with a large segment of our population. They think only for themselves and not for the greater good. Still, at least this medium gives her the opportunity to test the waters and for some self reflection, even if she does not seize it.

Good Blog….

By: Kimberly

Kimberly — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 00:32:04 +0000

You are SO brave and inspirational. Thank you for sharing this with all of us; I’m sure it’s painful to relive.

I’m off to vote now – congrats!

By: Auds at Barking Mad

Auds at Barking Mad — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 19:50:19 +0000

You are so brave and wonderful and beautiful.

I know this must have taken a great deal of courage to write and then post. One day I hope I can be as brave as you. You have given me a great gift, Jennifer…hope that I can survive all that has happened and put the pieces back together as eloquently and beautifully as you have.

By: Elizabeth Bradley

Elizabeth Bradley — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 18:47:00 +0000

Good for you. My sister-in-law was an abuser. The result, so many years later is mammoth. My brother finally left her but it was after so much damage was done to their five children. I am glad that you finally made the break from your step-mother and that your brother got away from her as well. Much is said about forgiveness but I do believe some behavior (especially towards children) cannot be forgiven. Great blog!

By: fancy feet

fancy feet — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 15:42:28 +0000

Thank you for sharing this here….for letting us in on your journey. Thank you for your courage and your insight and your heart. It’s inspiring.

By: Janine

Janine — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 15:16:52 +0000

P.S. Congrats on POTD! Well-deserved!

By: Janine

Janine — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 15:16:13 +0000

I am giving you a standing ovation…for your writing as well as for your act of extraordinary courage! The world needs more people like you…people who will stand up to cruelty and injustice!